My Eating Disorder (Bulimia/Binge-eating) has resurfaced after 20-odd years, right when I was at my “fittest”, physique-wise.
I am documenting my thoughts, actions, and discoveries for 2 reasons:
- To flesh out my thinking during both low and high points
- To record the journey that I know will have twists and turns, all pointing towards recovery
- To share insights that may help others in a similar boat
What Happened Today
I’ve been extremely bloated the past day or so, likely due to the aftermath of Gastroenteritis, leaving my digestive system in an extremely sluggish state. Who knew a “clogged” system could leave me so self-conscious? I feel 2 sizes larger, though my logical mind told me this is a temporary (medical) condition.
The anxiety must have been brewing at the back of my mind….till I was alone with the opportunity to binge hence silence the unease.
While the actual amount consumed was not astronomical (compared to more serious episodes), it was psychologically trying. I escaped by taking a long Sunday afternoon nap, full stomach and all.
What I will do
What’s done is done. I feel extremely down but my fighting spirit and logical mind are doing their best.
I have 2 choices: (A) to give in to the slippery slope, or (B) to use this setback as another chance to prove my strategy WILL work.
I am going with (B).
My strategy is two-fold:
- Continue with my “re-kick-start” workout programme. Endorphins, circulation, lymphatic drainage….not to mention delicious abs and strong legs. It is the best Rx.
- Continue to write and share (and hope to attract a few comments?)
- Binge Free For Me seems to be a great place for stories and connecting with fellow ED people. The tone is positive, which is preferred to misery-sharing sans actionable advice!
- This post echoes my advice when I first blogged myself out of a binge cycle on My Fitness Pal.
If you know of similar sites, please let me know.